Are you tired of articles with sensational headlines such as "How to recognise if you're in a relationship with a narcissist?", "The narcissistic personality — its impact on others" — all kinds of texts that leave you feeling as though every other person has narcissistic personality disorder?

Narcissism is, in fact, a natural part of human development, because we all need a sense of self-worth, confidence, and recognition. Narcissism is the foundation of early psychological development — a phase in which the libido is directed toward the self before interest in other people develops (Freud, 1914).

Normal Narcissism: The Foundation of a Healthy Self

Psychoanalysts such as S. Freud and M. Klein describe the early infantile narcissistic phase as a natural and adaptive stage of development, characterised by:

• Focus on the self: The infant experiences pleasure from its own actions and sensations.
• Formation of the primary self: This phase lays the groundwork for self-respect and psychological integrity.
• Object relations: Gradually the child begins to distinguish itself from significant others. Early bonds shape its capacity to build a stable sense of self-worth and autonomy.

The Role of Mirroring and Idealised Objects

Heinz Kohut extends the understanding of narcissism by viewing it not as egocentricity but as a key stage in the construction of a stable and adaptive self. He describes two primary mechanisms:

1. Mirroring

• The child needs significant others to reflect its achievements and capabilities.
• Adequate "mirroring" involves recognition and positive feedback.
• In the absence of such reflection, a fragile self develops that constantly seeks external validation.
• Through mirroring, self-respect and inner stability are built.

2. Idealisation of the Object

• The child idealises significant figures and experiences them as powerful and capable of protecting it.
• Through this process a sense of security and support is formed.
• Over time these qualities are integrated into the self as internal resources.
• Adequate idealisation supports the development of resilience, empathy, and the capacity for reciprocity.

Significance for Mental Health

When the needs for mirroring and idealisation are met, a cohesive and stable self is formed. It sustains realistic empathy, allows for easier adaptation in social interactions, and provides inner confidence without dependence on constant external approval.

Borderline Narcissistic Type: When Narcissism Becomes a Difficulty

Otto Kernberg describes pathological narcissism as a condition in which the mechanisms that support the self become distorted. Key characteristics:

1. Fragile, dependent self-esteem — Self-worth depends on external attention and admiration.
2. Splitting — Others are perceived as either "all good" or "all bad".
3. Idealisation and devaluation — There is a rapid shift from idealisation to devaluation.
4. Limited empathy — Others are frequently experienced as a means of maintaining one's own sense of worth.

How Psychotherapy Can Help

• Building a more stable self — developing inner supports, autonomy, and durable self-respect.
• Awareness of and working through defence mechanisms — overcoming splitting and polarised perceptions.
• Developing empathy and reciprocity — a more realistic understanding of self and others.

References

1. Freud, S. (1914). On narcissism: An introduction. London: Hogarth Press.
2. Mahler, M., Pine, F., & Bergman, A. (1975). The psychological birth of the human infant. New York: Basic Books.
3. Kohut, H. (1971). The analysis of the self. New York: International Universities Press.
4. Kohut, H. (1977). The restoration of the self. New York: International Universities Press.
5. Kernberg, O. F. (1975). Borderline conditions and pathological narcissism. New York: Jason Aronson.